I have no friends.I have no one. I never really did.Why? Because it’s what life choose for me.I don’t really need friends,all I have them for is to have someone there to listen to my problems.I call them my friends,yes,but do I really think of then as such? Of course not! It’s just a little white lie.It’s not going to hurt anyone if I don’t tell the truth.I don’t do much,don’t go out,don’t call or contact anyone,nothing.So why do I even have these “friends” when the only one I ever cared about is now gone.I don’t wanna die,so I won’t join him anytime soon,but I don’t wanna be alone without him.
And it’s probably heartless of me to think this way,but that’s just who I am.I’m just a lonely person with this device that keeps me anchored to this world.I lost my original anchor,no thanks to a fucking cement truck,so I found something new.And why can’t people accept that I want nothing more than to lay down and rest.All I want to do in life is ignore these people who I’ll probably lose contact with by the end of my high school life.
It’s not a healthy life I’m living,but at least I’m still alive.I didn’t choose this life,I want something better.I want to be loved and accepted but it’s hard to find someone who won’t turn their back in me as soon as I do one thing wrong.